Why I am glad I did not wean my toddler

  I have had a pretty rough last month and a half. It started back on my birthday, July 22nd. The day went amazing, I had such a great time. The following morning, I found out that a dear friend had ended her life......I remember as I had discovered she had passed away, my son was ready to eat breakfast. He was fussy. I needed to put my friends death to the side, and take care of my son. I was blank, heart broken, sad. I had a lump in my throat and I just wanted to yell, but at who? She was already gone, it wasn't going to do any good to yell at her. It wasn't going to reverse the damage or make her come back. I couldn't address my emotions, my child was now crying. He didn't want to eat his food. He had been teething the weeks leading up to my birthday. It was rough, he was cranky, he spiked a fever, but never got sick. All he wanted to do was nurse. Around the clock. He screamed if I set him down, he just wanted {me}. 

A day or two after that, his nose started to run, he had a couple pretty gross poopy diapers and was still super cranky. A terrible rash broke out on his body. It didn't seem to bother him, but it got worse when he got hot or worked up, and it was in huge patches, looked like a food allergy and a viral rash.. It actually turned out to be a pretty severe case of Parvovirus, you may recognize it by the name of '5ths Disease'. Either way I said it, people would get worried. "Isn't that what dogs get?" "Don't they have a vaccine for that?" "Aren't you going to take him to a doctor?" "Why does he not have antibiotics?" "He has a disease?!?" 
         
                                                 *Sigh*
       
           Parvovirus is in the same family as the chicken pox. In fact, it is the 5th virus in that family to be discovered, hence the name '5ths disease'. I can't give you the correct listing, but the family includes: chicken pox, measles, mumps, scarlet fever, hand foot and mouth disease, roseola, parvovirus, etc. Those kinds of rash causing illness. While there is a vaccine for preventing a few of these viral infections, They do not include a vaccine for parvovirus.

**Please note that vaccines are NOT 100% effective, so even if a vaccine is given, your child is not fully protected from anything, and if you are choosing to vaccinate yourself or your child(ren) please know what vaccines you are allowing to be put into them. You should know what vaccines you are giving to your child. You should want to know what you are trying to protect yourself against, and not just assume that you have protection from every germ/virus in the world**

Johnny's rash went away after a week and a half. He was still cranky. I blamed it all on teething. He was still wanting to nurse. All. The.Time. He screamed when he would unlatch, he was cranky, he did have some new teeth break through. We had been using a mixture of clove/olive oil for his gums to relieve his pain. That has always been the most effective way to help the teething pain for johnny.  He had a rough few days, and in that time, big brother had a bad cough, runny nose, and watery eyes. A couple of days in to taking care of hunter (and still constantly nursing the sick baby) Johnny came down with the same symptoms, followed by another rash on his entire body. This time, it seemed to be roseola, the '6th disease' in that family. Now, the Roseola virus also has 'no' vaccine....{ I am notified that the elderly man I care for on Sundays has survived a heart attack. More emotions.}

This time johnny had trouble breathing from being so snotty, his nose was really nasty. He did not like me to clean it, and he would resist me coming close to his face. He started being cute and would shake his head from side to side all crazy, non-stop for a minute. We just figured it was because of the music we were listening to. He started blowing raspberries on my skin. Then he started doing this funny thing where he would come at me like he was going to give me raspberries, but would suck and blow on my skin. He started making a lot more faces, like the "Ohhhh" face a lot. And those very well could be something that he is learning at his age (15 and a half months) but it also pointed towards and ear infection. Another fever spikes....and the emotions of losing a second friend to a death arise.

 So now, we have battled 2 virus's and are graced with ear infections. How do I know its an ear infection? He has a high fever (104.2), he is pulling on his ears, refusing to eat, wanting to nurse, miserable, his ears looked a little swollen inside. I do not want to see a doctor. I know that they will look at his middle ear and diagnose him with a double ear infection and prescribe him antibiotics, which if you know anything about antibiotics and your bodies bacterial flora, antibiotics can be the devil. We have good bacteria in our guts that help us to stay healthy, antibiotics are to kill the bad bacteria that causes infection, but sometimes kills the good bacteria in our body, and then all those refined sugars rapidly turn into yeast and start taking over. I wanted to avoid yeast infections, the possibility of contacting thrush from him being on antibiotics, and having to treat all of our cloth diapers for yeast, not to mention restoring his poor little belly. I also wanted to avoid medicine, but I knew that he was in pain, so I gave him some medicine for the ear pain, and I mixed 2 drops of lavender essential oil into 2 teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil and massaged this over his body to help bring his really high fever down. Fever is good though, that is your body fighting off that bad bacteria and when you use fever reducers, your body can not properly fight off the bacteria. If you see what I mean. The body hits a certain heat to start killing the bacteria. It's all really beautiful, I guess if you are a health nerd, like me.

          This is where I most become thankful for my breast milk and my breasts. Breast milk has antibodies inside it. So nursing johnny is providing him with some antibodies in his system. It is helping to fight off bacteria. I am also able to express a few drops of the warm 'liquid gold' into Johnny's ears, to help penetrate the infection in his middle ear. There are other natural methods for treating ear infections if you do not have access to breast milk (garlic and oregano). Here is a quick example of what is going on with Johnny's ears. The middle ear is like a pocket. It is dark. When a sickness happens, things can get swollen in their ear,nose and throat area. When the ears get a little swollen, it makes it hard for any liquids to drain from the middle ear. When you factor in the wet & dark, middle ear, you can imagine bacteria growing in there, and it can't escape. That is an ear infection. So, the breast milk is helping to penetrate the middle ear and fight the bacteria that is causing the infection. Its ready when I need it, and it is warm, alternative methods require warming oils before hand, and that is one less step I have to take.  Not only am I thankful for it for this reason, I am thankful for it for a list of reasons why, but secondly because it has comforted my son while he needed it the most. He was aching and in horrible pain, and nursing helped soothe him. He hasn't ever taken a pacifier, but if one had been used to comfort his suckle reflex, it would not have hydrated him. So I am also thankful that he was getting hydration/nutrition, as he refused to eat/drink anything.

      Now that he is almost 100% back to his normal self, I question myself and why I wanted to quit breastfeeding him in the first place. I can factor in that I was feeling stressed out because I was dealing with emotions of losing a friend, and I didn't feel like I had any time to myself, because of johnny wanting to nurse, a lot. I feel slightly guilty that I wanted to end our nursing relationship. I am so glad that I did not at that time because of everything that was going on around me. I can't imagine the way I would feel if I had actually gone through with the way I was temporarily feeling about nursing.

          I feel that johnny will wean from the breast when he is ready. I feel that, that time will come before I know it. I feel selfish, I don't have anything else to do, I don't have a "real job" to go to 40 hours a week. My kids ARE my job. My almost 5 year old doesn't need me like my 1 year old does, and it just reminds me that this is such a short period of my life that I will be breastfeeding.  I'm thankful I didn't rip out my hair and throw in the towel. I wanted to so many times, but allowed myself to take it day by day.

         Somehow I am still hanging on for this extended breastfeeding journey.  Its taken me many places, and we have taken many pictures along the way. I am so glad that I have the right and freedom to share my breastfeeding pictures with the world. I am so thankful to tell my story from day 1 of this breastfeeding journey to those who are willing to listen. I KNOW that people have doubts, they need encouragement, someone to hold their hand and tell them what to do and that it will be okay. If you have ever breastfed for any length of time, even 10 minutes, you know that it can come with frustration. Seeing other peoples stories and pictures have really helped encourage me along my 15 month journey, especially at times when I felt like I had been sitting alone, nursing the baby for days on end.

         I feel so thankful for my breastfeeding support system. They happen to be online, and it just so happens to be that I haven't met more than a handful of a hundred of them, but they are {AMAZING}. They have lifted my spirits when I needed them most during this journey and it has made all the difference. They have enlightened me so much.
                                      
                                       Now, I shall share some pics

                                                            

 

                            

                             

    

 

I love the picture below. Her name is Vanessa Beecroft. You can read about her story under "The Art Star and the Sudanese Twins".

 

Here was his severe parvovirus rash.

We chose oatmeal baths to soothe, instead of cortisone's. The cortisone is a steroid and it suppresses the immune system to rid of the rash, and you have the rash because it is your body's natural reaction to defend itself. See where I am going with this?

 

And below was his rash from, Roseola.

It looked worse in person. It only covered his chest, belly and back. Again, we used oatmeal baths to sooth him, but he really was not bothered much by this. I think the teething pain was the worst for him.

 

It really was a long month and a half. I must admit that this month and a half was hard for him, not for me. It was hard for me because I had trouble accepting the fact that I needed to drop everything in the world and just take care of him. This is not spoiling a baby. He has needs. He has very little wants at this age he is at and I am pleased to meet them all.